Like we’ve established, we aren’t meant to get better by doing easy things. A drug is no exception. Unfortunately, since the initial experiences with a drug are so positive, the subconscious brain—which is a fastidious note taker and secretary of everything you do—files the drug under the “brings pleasure” or “avoids pain” column in its mental library. Once filed, the subconscious mind doesn’t go back and shred the file. In fact, the longer you use the drug, even at the expense of your physical and mental well-being, the subconscious hard wires new neural pathways to make it, you guessed it, easier, to keep taking the drug. It’s the neuroscience of habit-building (see also: neuroplasticity).
Very basically, a new activity requires relatively immense mental energy to sus out: is it beneficial or harmful? How do we do it? What does it make me feel? Is it complicated or simple to perform? But the subconscious can’t afford to spend that kind of mental energy answering these questions again and again. So, the subconscious takes notes on the first few experiences, declares the activity pleasureful or painful, and then literally begins to fashion new neural tissue that allows you to engage in that activity with less and less mental energy. The longer you do the activity, the more that pathway is reinforced. You get used to doing it without “thinking” about it. It’s how we daydream while driving. We’re so used to the activity that we don’t even think about it. We just do it (some better than others).
What does this have to do with vegetables and exercise? Well, firstly, when you quit a drug after chronic abuse, your brain (and body) is dearly in need of repair. And there are some very real, well-studied methods for repairing things quickly. One is diet, and another is physical activity. It all comes down to chemistry. While in withdrawals, your neurochemistry is as balanced as David and Goliath on a seesaw. Neurotransmitters that govern your energy and mood (dopamine, norepinephrine, endorphins, serotonin, glutamate, cortisol) are poorly regulated. Imagine opening a circuit panel and seeing a bunch of wires poking out and about and flashing dangerously. That’s your brain—on drugs. This chemical imbalance is what makes life so unbearable when in withdrawals. Anyone who’s been in withdrawals knows what I mean. It’s the worst feeling in the world. A complete loss of mental control. An utter inability to be “normal” in the world.
Vegetables and exercise are like the nuts and bolts that the brain needs to complete repairs on this broken circuitry. Vegetables and exercise kick Goliath off the see-saw and put David’s twin brother (why not) in his place. The problem is, vegetables still taste like vegetables, and exercise still hurts. And when you’re withdrawing, all you want to do is lessen your pain, not increase it—even though you know full well that eating a healthy diet and getting the blood flowing will ultimately make you feel better.
I made the Quit Kit because I knew that much of the benefit I’d get from a healthy diet could be packaged into a set of capsules. It would be “easy” to take a few capsules filled with healthy ingredients. But I also knew that Quit Kit couldn’t solve my addiction to kratom. Quitting an addiction requires an acceptance of the fact that, long term, one must embrace resistance, not avoid it.
Rutabagas will always be gross. Exercise will never be comfortable. I don’t have any inspirational cliché to attach to that. It’s just true. But I also know that giving into “easy” is a quick way to point me towards mental anguish. That part is tough to deal with. I’m not special. I don’t have some unique ability to keep focused or be mentally tough. I desperately wish I did. But even that line of thinking is proof that I’m still looking for “easy.”
